Time of Conviction

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Life had taken me from being on the highest mountain top to feeling like I was in the depths of the ocean, drowning in sorrow.  I went to bed crying and woke up doing the same.  My thoughts were continually on what had happened.  I loved her. Wasn't that enough?  I was angry and confused.  I finally talked to my pastor and explained to him what had happened.  He advised me to just continue to lean on Christ and He would carry me through.  Months passed without  a word from my wife.  Finally, one day she talked to me.  It was not what I wanted to hear.  We began to talk about divorce.  The more I thought about it, the sicker I became of the idea.  I prayed that God's will would be done.  I prayed He would take this situation and use it to honor Him.  Then one day, Candice and I were talking about who would get what.  I told her that I did not want a divorce.  I loved her and would do whatever it took.  She said she did not want a divorce either, but she did not know what she wanted.  I began to cry for joy, while thanking Jesus.  I prayed that "Bring on the Rain" by Mercy Me would come on the radio.  I turned on the radio, AND IT WAS PLAYING! Thank You Jesus!
God had given us a fresh start. We began to date again, and through our conversations I realized how much I had hurt Candice.  God had blessed me with a wonderful wife and I had neglected her and her needs.  I thank God for this time in our lives.  Although it was painful, it saved our marriage.

On Fire

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The freedom from alcoholism was indescribable!  God began to work in my life in amazing ways.  In the past, I would read my Bible but I did not enjoy the little time that I spent in the Word.  Now, not only did I enjoy it but would spend hours reading God's Word.  As I continued to spend time growing closer to God, He began to place a conviction upon my heart that there was something more He wanted for my life.  I talked to my pastor about what was going on, and he told me to wait and that God would reveal it in His own time.  He told me about a class he was going to be taking and asked me if I would join him in the course.  It was a  R.G.Lee class on the Epistles of Paul. So I did! My walk with Christ grew daily and so did the feeling that He may be calling me into the ministry.  The only problem was that I was neglecting my wife.  Candice called one day and said, "I'm leaving and I won't be back."  My world was turned upside down.  Life had thrown me a curve ball and I was not expecting it. What was I to do? Go back to the same old lifestyle? Get mad and get drunk? Or would I trust God?

Independence Day!

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On July 3, 2006, I decided I was going to get drunk! And boy did I get drunk!  The next day, I woke up on the couch, to the sound of my wife packing her bags.  I asked her what she was doing and she said I had told her the night before that if she did not like the fact that I was drinking, that she could pack her bags and leave.  And she was!  As she was packing, I began to somewhat remember the terrible things I had said to her.  Besides being extremely hungover, I had that terrible feeling in your stomach that you have when you know something terrible has happened.  I asked her to sit down and talk to me.  But there was no response.  I was weeping and begging for her to stop packing and to stay.  But the silence continued, along with the packing.  I did not know what else to do but pray!  I prayed with every ounce of faith I could muster up and pleaded with God, just for her to stop and talk to me.  When I opened my eyes, she had stopped packing and told me she just had a feeling that we needed to talk.  That day, was Independence Day for me, because God freed me from the bondage of alcoholism!  For months the enemy attacked and I had nightmares about drinking.  I even lost several friends because I refused to go to parties. I give God all the honor and glory, as He rightfully deserves. Amen!

VBS 2006

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On June 28, 2006, I was helping my wife with the music class in VBS.  To my surprise, one of the kids who came into the clasroom was my drinking buddy's grandson.  He had seen me on numerous occasions drinking with his father, grandfather, and uncle.  I felt about the size of a thumb tack! Here I was proclaiming the good news of Jesus Christ, but all this young man had seen from me was a life that was NOT Christ-like.  For the next week, God really dealt with me about drinking.  I had tried several times in the past to quit, and felt convicted to quit, but just couldn't.  My only hope was Christ, but how could He help this lowly sinner? 

The Day I Married My Angel

March 4, 2006 was the day Candice, my beautiful bride, and I were joined in marriage.  We were married in Gatlinburg, Tennessee in the front of our chalet.  We stood on a gigantic rock, with just our immediate family members gathering around, as we exchanged our vows.  I wish I could say that before we met, I was a man that was on fire for God.  But that was not the case.  I was a terrible person who God decided to bless with a Godly woman. He used her to change my life.                                                                         

I woke up that morning around seven, and was anxious, so I decided to have a  mixed drink. I also took a xanax to cut the edge.  I continued to drink the rest of the morning in order to "stay relaxed."  The truth is that I had a problem.  I used the excuse of "It's my wedding day and I'll drink if i want." What a way to start a marriage...